Hi I’m Mary Mary: Fighting Your Own Mind

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Credit: Jade Roth, from the Hi I'm Mary Mary YouTube channel

Jade Roth, Contributing Writer

Depression, body dysmorphia, anxiety: these are all issues many people struggle with; you might be one of them, too. Have such problems ever been seen in a way that makes people feel empowered? Makes them feel like they’ve conquered the world? Hi I’m Mary Mary is a web series used to discuss these issues and the long journey to conquer them– in a peculiar way.

This series doesn’t involve a big-shot professional sitting down in a puffy seat and blabbing on and on about what you should be feeling–quite the opposite, in fact, as it features a young woman running around in a not-so puffy home, staying quiet to avoid being caught by her problems. 

Hi I’m Mary Mary is a YouTube channel (and Twitter account) about an insecure young woman named Mary, who is living in a house she can’t escape from with monsters she isn’t sure of how to defeat. She starts off her journey in a replica of her parents home, unsure of how she got there, and why she got there. Things are calm and quiet during the day, but at night the “home” becomes a nightmarish maze. Her monsters chase her down, each symbolic in their own distressing way.

The first monster we are introduced to is a lady, wearing all black and hiding her face behind her opaque veil. She acts in an aggressive manner, scaring Mary and often forcing her to run and hide. What this monster says to Mary is often little more than a crude jab or a rude remark; the monster seems to be much stronger than hoped for when acknowledging that it can speak.

The second monster we are introduced to also takes the form of a woman wearing black and covering her face. However, unlike the first monster, her methods of doing so are distinctively different, as she dons a low-cut black dress and a full-face mask with makeup. She laughs maniacally at Mary and poses, twitching as she moves from behind the mirrors she appears in. Her appearance is lined up with Mary cutting up an old picture of herself wearing the same dress and saying, “I don’t look good in it,” while she regards the monster as “so much prettier.”

Next in line is a creature whose appearance begins the transition from human to abstract. It looks to be a shadowy humanoid with behavior starkly different from the previous two monsters. It isn’t as aggressive as the others, paling in comparison to the violence of the veiled monster and dressed lady towards Mary. What it lacks in visual violence, it makes up psychologically. Whenever Mary sees this monster, it throws her into distress and panic, with words (presumably from her) saying how she “messed up” and “feel[s] nothing.”

The last monster of Hi I’m Mary Mary is an abstract one. It doesn’t appear humanoid, nor does it have a single form. However, it does consistently show itself as darkness, from a creeping, veiny, vine-like darkness that grows around Mary’s residence to a shadowy blob that whips around the air. Not even Mary knows much about it, so it’s still very much a thing of mystery.

As seen, Mary is living in the deep end of trouble. But these monsters have a weakness, as every evil does. The whole series covers Mary’s war against these creatures, her struggle to fight, her giving up hope on fighting, and even giving up on herself. Mary isn’t alone, however. She has us. We, the viewers, the ones who write to her online and tell her how much she means to us and how she needs to be strong–she has us, and sometimes, having all that support can be enough to fight your inner demons, just as Mary fights hers.

Hi I’m Mary Mary is a roller coaster of emotions, often going downhill, but it isn’t meant to be a sad or scary story. Granted, it can scare you, and it does so often enough, but it is a tale of growth, a tale of growing up with struggles and learning how to overcome them. The monsters that Mary faces aren’t from a child’s story or a fantasy movie; they’re personified emotions that many people face everyday. Mary’s story, albeit fictional, is very motivating and can help us battle our own problems, no matter how daunting they may be.